Long time no write...

I haven't been able to find some time to write lately because things have been so nutty!  I don't even know how to describe where the past few months have gone.  

The weather has felt incredibly wonky here lately.  One day it is 70 degrees, the next it is snowing!  I am the person who truly loves spring and I am kinda tired of the cold.  I also wish it rained here more.  That is the one thing I truly miss from home.  I am in love with the rain and I feel happy in the rain.  Those beautiful spring always puts me in the best of moods.  Part of that is the sound that it makes and also the smell that the earth has at the end of the storm.  The sound of the pitter patter on the windows makes for a nice chorus to read to and drink some tea.  

My love and I have also booked the most amazing trip that I could think of.  Growing up, my folks gave my brother and me the most amazing opportunity to see this country and understand the amazing history that our ancestors traveled so hard to procure for their family.  They wanted a new life and a new opportunity and I thank them for that.  It has given me such a great sense of history and pride in where I came from.  It is part of the reason I am in the career I am in today.  But for the first time in my life, I am able to cross the Atlantic and see Europe.  My love and I have booked a trip to Paris!!  I am already thinking of so many things to do but just to see the history there as well excites me!  One of the things we will do is to put our names on a lock and toss the key into the river.  It is the Love Lock Bridge and I think it is one of the most romantic things I can think of. It will be an amazing adventure.  It is still a dream to me and I don't know if it will be real until we board the plane.  

I was inspired by two students today.  I took time out of my busy busy schedule to spend some time with two students: one studying Margaret Brown, the other Titanic.  They had such great questions and were so engaged with me about the information I was telling them.  They asked why I do what I do, and my answer was them.  I am a historian and educator because of my parents teaching me the value of history and me wanting to do that to not only to my children one day but to those who come through the front door of the house.  Every student who comes through and tells me they want to be me one day makes me understand even more what I do.  I judge at History Day contests throughout Colorado as well (4 or 5 this year I think) and seeing these future historians makes my heart smile. :)  

I guess I babbled a bit in this but my head has been in a million places lately.  

But I know that love is around me and I cherish that. <3 

Dreams and Reflections

So I haven't written in some time.  Things have been quite nutty and busy in my life! But I would rather be busy than bored!

I have been having some odd dreams lately.  A couple nights ago I had a dream we were at my 20th High School reunion and we had a child that was a vampire.  Don't know what that means.  But last night's dream was one of oddness.  It was a reflection on the past year but not in flashbacks but in pie charts and bar graphs.  These also were not on a computer or anything like that but floating freely around me.  I couldn't tell what some of these charts were but some were purely pop culture asking favorite movie, song, or event throughout the year.  Other's were on the state of our country and all the things that changed in 2013.  It was just very odd.

But upon waking up and reflecting on what the dream was showing me, I look back on this crazy crazy year.  For some reason this year was not like the rest but seemed strange and odd at points.  I am very thankful for the many things that have happened to me this year, including a new job sharing the history of an amazing woman.  She saw her our struggles, and feel like her and I could have been friends if we ever met!

I am looking forward to 2014.  I feel as if this year needs to be put in the history books and not be reflected on often.  There were negatives along the way, and one of my goals for 2014 is to try to stay on the positive side of things.  Too many times I was drawn into a world of negativity by those around me and it takes too much energy to stay in that world.  I am an optimist at heart and plan to stay in that world next year.

Next year will also be a year of adventures.  My love and I are planning a trip to Paris, probably in June.  It will be my first trip to Europe and can't believe it is actually happening.  I am starting to train for a half marathon again that I will be running with a coworker.  I haven't run a half in over a year so this will be an interesting adventure!  Professionally, things are completely changing at the museum and it will be a huge year.  I am working on this huge military appreciation day in July and we are working with so many other cultural institutions.

I am looking forward to moving forward in 2014 and putting this strange year behind me.  Here is to a Happy New Year and the greatest adventures in 2014!!!

Here is to Love for all in the new year!!

Reflections on 9/11

All of us who were alive that day, remember exactly where we were and what we were doing.  It is a day that can never be forgotten. I was just a freshman in college walking to class.  I heard people talking about the world trade center being bombed.  They weren't serious so I thought it was a new movie or something.  When I got to class, the teacher wasn't there yet so a few of us went to look for a tv or radio.  We found one and brought it back but by that time the teacher arrived and told us to go back to our dorms and turn on our tvs.  I got back to see the first tower fall. 

We were glued to our tvs all day.  My roommate found out her aunt was on the plane that hit the second tower.  I would later find out that my pastor from back home was on the other side of the pentagon.  Towards the middle of the afternoon, our RA made us leave our rooms to go down to the cafeteria.  We had been watching the news all day, doing nothing else.  I was talking on AIM but otherwise, my eyes were glued to the tv.  When we got to the cafeteria, I never heard something so quiet.  No talking, no laughing, nothing.  We went to bed that night wondering what the hell just happened. 

Years have gone by but I will never forget that day.  The town my parents live in has a silent parade every year.  The emergency vehicles drive with their lights on but no sirens, to remember those we lost.  A small ceremony is held afterward.  I have seen it once and it is a moving experience.  I have done something else to remember the day.  For four years now, we go to Red Rocks in Morrison, CO to participate in the 9/11 stair climb.  It has become an amazing remembrance of all those that were lost that day.  It is a physical challenge, 110 stories, the height of the World Trade Center.  Even though I am tired at the end, it is nothing like the challenge the men and women on 9/11 went through. 

It is a day that will forever stick in my mind, like a lot of people in this world.  But we must not forget other major days in our history: Pearl Harbor, Oklahoma City, and last year's attack on Benghazi.  We need to remember those lost that day as well. 

We should never forget yet always remember that day.  But as well, remember September 12th, when we came together, when we stood up to those who tried to hurt us, when we were true Americans!

God Bless America!!

The adventures of the employed!

For almost nine months, I was searching for a new job in my field and after a long search, I found one.  I work at an amazing museum where people from all over the world flock just to see it.  It is the home of an absolutely splendid woman who worked hard to change the world through her wealth and social standing.  She was called the "Heroine of the Titanic" but felt as if she was only doing her duty, she fought for women's rights, worked with Rockefeller to improve rights of miner's after the Ludlow Massacre, allowed her servants to learn right along with her, and so much more in Denver and the world.  This woman is Margaret Tobin Brown and she is an amazing woman to have as a boss!

Yes, I know, she has been long gone for many years but educating those who admire her wonder and gumption is a great honor.  I have been at the museum for over two months now (sorry it has taken so long to write again) and I have learned so much about her and I am far from a feminist but she is a woman to be admired. 

As with any new job, there is always a time when you are learning so much and then all of a sudden you know the programs and the beginning of it all and you can start putting on your own touch.  I am at the moment but I have also learned what to share and what not to share.  It has been a great learning experience and I am looking forward to learning more about this amazing woman and her legacy in the world. 

I have realized over all this time who has truly been there for me and who was a spark in my life and who has continued to burn as a friend in my life.  It is interesting in the times of trouble who stays out of your life but the moment something great happens they all come running back.  But I have learned some lessons from Margaret and it is to stand up for what I believe in and what really matters in life. 

I am excited about this adventure and I can't wait to see where this employment journey takes me. 

The Wonder

Colorado has become so beautiful but very warm lately.  I was thrilled over the weekend that I could put my plants out on the patio and the sun shower over them.  I love having my patio garden and look forward to a real garden at my house one day.  The other thing I love about the warmer weather is that I can get out to run. 

Now, I am not the fastest runner but I still get out there and hit the pavement. Especially when I have two races coming up in the next two weeks.  There is a trail by my apartment complex that I enjoy going out on going in different directions.  It is nice to get out and about during the day and get my mind off of things.  It is my chance to escape and just focus on each step.  Granted, yes, I do have my iPod playing some high beat songs to keep me going but without it I would feel weird running. 

While I am out running, I think about some things and one of those things is The Wonder.  As children, we are amazed by so many things and enjoy the wonder of them all.  I think about this as I run since I pass so many amazing things. I run over several bridges that go back and forth over the creek.  I love listening to the water flow over the rocks and sometimes I stop in the middle of the bridge to watch and listen.  I enjoy seeing birds flying overhead and chirping as they head off to their next destination.  I love the smell of the air and the grass (especially after it is just cut).  These are some of the things I think of as I run.  I try to think about what it would be like as a child again seeing all these things.

Children have such a sense of things that we lose as we get older.  But with everything I have been going through, it is nice to try and think of the wonder again.  The little things in my house too help with the wonder.  My cat relaxing on the recliner (which is her chair) or her going after a small bug I can't see. The smell of coffee brewing in the morning or the sun pouring through the window.  I am trying to remember the wonder to help me through some of the tough times and keep the optimistic attitude I have always had. 

I am still the firm believer in love in all things too.  The wonder to me is another sign of love...

Faith, Family and Friends

So many things have happened in the past year that I don't know how to respond to some of them.  I have seen the best and worst in people in my life.  I have also seen the best in people in some of the worst tragic events.  One of these events was the Boston Marathon.  As a runner, I get excited for people who run these races and train so hard.  I understand what they are going through, how hard those final few miles are and what it is like to cross the finish line.  The party at the end of the race is a blast.  Hundreds perhaps thousands (at the BolderBoulder) of people are at the finish line cheering you on. They don't even know you or where you are from or how hard you trained to get there.  Even though some of those runners didn't get to cross the finish line yesterday, they were still greeted with such kindness and love by those in Boston.  Strangers helping strangers, runners, after 26 miles, kept running to give blood, military personal who ran in full fatigues moving barriers to get to the wounded.  It makes me believe in the goodness of people and it still exists. 

After yesterday's events, it makes my problems seem so small but still in the forefront of my mind.  Once I left my last job, after all the horrible things that happened, I tried to remain optimistic and that something will come soon through.  After several interviews and many rejections, I am remaining optimistic that something will happen and I will be in a job where my talents are appreciated and I can be myself.  I have been told that my resume is impressive, I have an amazing background and that I will be valuable to my future employer.  I have learned that if it has assistant or associate in the title, I am told right away I am too overqualified and I should be running the department.  I am still hopeful that the right position will come through soon and I can put this all behind me. 

Through all of this, I have realized the three most important things to me in my life.  They have become the foundation in my life and the things that have seen me through some of the best times but also the worst times of my life.  Without these things, I would not be myself. 

My faith is something that will never waiver, no matter what I am going through in this earthly life.  I am reading through the Book of Job in the Old Testament.  He was tested and put through strife from God.  He questioned Him and but still asked for strength.  Job asked God why He was putting him through it.  God states that those that are faithful and put their trust in Him will be taken care of and loved.  God doesn't put you through anything you can't handle and He must think I am pretty strong.  Through all of this, however, I am learning patience. I am learning what God has planned for me and He will reveal it to me when it is time.  All I know is that I am meant to be here, this is my home now. 

For those who know me, they know that nothing is more important to me than my family.  Family is who taught you to be who you are.  They are the group of people that no matter what happens to you in life, they are there.  My mother reminds me of this constantly.  She is my best friend and I am so thankful to be her daughter.  She tells me "We are always here. We are family".  I know they will always be there and I know they will always love me no matter what.  They are proud of me and standing up for who I am and what I believe in.  This family also includes my love who has been a constant rock in my life for the past three years and I couldn't imagine life without him in it.  My family is all over the country but somehow we manage to stay close and keep in touch always.  Through emails, phone calls and the occasional letter (which I love getting letters in the mail by the way), we manage to keep that family bond strong and growing. 

I don't have a ton of friends in my life.  I don't need a ton. I have those really close friends that I have known for years, who have known me through all of my journeys.  There are those I have only had for a few years but have found a place in my heart and will stay there.  I have lost friends because we have taken a different road on our journey.  They were meant to be there for a short time for some reason but they are not meant to be in my life any longer.  I have accepted that and moved on.  If they hurt me, I forgave them.  But those who are closest to me know how much they mean to me and how much I am thankful to have them.  They help me remember who I am and help me to be stronger and laugh often! 

These three things in my life create a beautiful foundation in my life and keep me going.  Without one of these three things, my life would feel empty of sorts.  This is why I am thankful for all of these and those that are a part of my life. 

365 Days of Thanks..Day 45

Day 45: I am thankful for visits from my mom!

My mom lives back in my home state of Wisconsin.  It is too far away and wish she (and the rest of my family) was closer.  I treasure the times when I get to see her and I got to spend the past week with her.  The visits sometimes seem too far apart but I am thankful for the time we have together.