I originally wrote this on the plane ride back from Wisconsin on January 2nd.
Flying always makes me nervous. I have never been one who has been happy to
fly. I don’t know if it is my fear of
heights or the hoopla that we now have to go through to get on the plane but I
am not a fan. I usually have to have a
glass of wine or some other form of alcohol to get through it. This flight is a bit different.
My love and I just spent six days in my home state with my
family. My parents let us crash at their
home for a bit to spend some time with the family. It was a hard trip since my family seems to
get smaller all the time. My
grandfather, one of the men who fought in World War II, turned 92 last
month. He has been in and out of the
hospital over 2012. It was hard to see
him get weaker and weaker over the year and it breaks my heart. It was a hard trip home because I hate to say
it, I fear it was the last time I would see him. I don’t like to think like that but nobody
lives forever. It was good to see him
and I am hoping we can see him again.
2012 was a hard year and I was happy to say goodbye to it
with my family. The year brought lots of ups and downs and what feels like more
downs then ups. Throughout events of
2012, I have realized those who truly love me, those who are there for me, and
those that are so selfish that they only look out for themselves. I have said goodbye to those who are selfish,
to those who hurt me, to those who did me wrong. I have embraced more those who love me and
support me through everything and hold on to them tight, both physically and
emotionally. I am taking these people
with me to 2013 and in hopes that it will be an amazing year. I have decided to make some changes to the New
Year and make sure I remember those who are there for me.
So looking ahead, I plan to make some changes and improve so
many things in 2013
My love
December 31st, 2009 was the first night that I
met him. It was an amazing night and I
knew he was going to special to me. We
have had some great amazing days but also some bad times but through it all we
have stood by each other through it all.
I hope in 2013 our love gets stronger and our adventure becomes
something that neither of us could ever imagine. 
I have very close relationships with most members of my
family. My parents and my brother are
three people that I don’t know what I would ever do without. I have called them all crying and pissed off
and in various other moods and they have always been there for me. We are states apart but when we talk, it is
like they are in the room with me.
Unfortunately, in 2012, I was only able to make it home once and I wish
I could do it more. They come see me often but there is nothing like coming
home to family. They will always be
there for me and I will always be there for them.
Be daring in my career
Some not so nice things happened in 2012 in terms of my
career. I was treated badly and worse than
I thought another human being could hurt another. I am working on moving past that. I have forgiven those who have hurt me and
ask for the patience for the next step.
Until that next step, I want to do something daring. I am working on a novel that I hope to get
published. I am painting and drawing
again. Perhaps I will start a custom
card company. Who knows! I just don’t want to be afraid to take a
chance.
I have always been a muscular girl. I was an athlete in high school and could
bench press a small human but as I have gotten older, I have been troubled with
losing weight and keeping it off. This
year, I am going to make sure I lose it all and get in the best shape I
can. I am hoping to have a family one
day and I want to make sure that nothing goes wrong. 
Just be me
I lost a lot of who I was in my former job. It took quite some time but I was able find
me again. I vowed never to lose sight of
myself again. I don’t want to compromise
myself for a job, a man or anyone else in my life. God put me on this earth to be me and to love
the me I am. I am going to stick clear
to that and learn to love me for me and kick those out of my life who try to
change me.
Be amazing
Be amazing
2013 is going to be an amazing year. I have vowed to make this year have a
different outcome then last year. I want
to do something amazing, be something amazing and just plain be amazing. J
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