For every season....

Lately, I have been doing a lot of thinking about the reason for certain things.  I am firm believer that everything happens for a reason, even the smallest littlest things that you think may not have an effect on your future.  I have looked at the past decade of my life and I have done some amazing things and each one of them had a reason.

I have lived in a eight different states in my life.  Each one had a different impact on my life and the direction it has gone in.  I have lived places that I never thought I would and have done things that I look back and am thankful I have had them.  There are experiences that when I look back in my old age, I can say "I had an amazing life". 

I have lived in a converted chicken coop for six months in Northern Arizona with no internet and barely any cable channels.  I explored every weekend and loved every minute of it.  I have seen things there and learned things that I still carry with me.  I lived on the Atlantic ocean for a year and was able to explore the Caribbean islands.  I snorkeled with some beautiful fish, ate some amazing food and rang in my 25th birthday in the middle of the ocean on a cruise ship.  I went to Key West and saw Hemingway's house, ate key lime pie and stood at the southernmost point in the United States.  I had an amazing trip with my mom to Disneyworld which is amazing as a kid but even better as an adult.  I lived 45 minutes from New York City and finally walked where my Great-Grandparents walked on Ellis Island when they came to this country.  I saw Philadelphia.  I have climbed two 14ers, ran countless half marathons, tent camped for the first time and fell in love. 

All of these have been some amazing experiences in my life and not a full list of them either! It would take forever to list them all.  But in all the places I have lived and all the experiences I have had, they happened for a reason.  Together, they made me the person I am today and brought me to the place I am now.  People have passed into my life and back out and the special few have stuck around.  I am thankful for those.  Those that have left my life have given me lessons that I have taken into the future and things that I just want to forget. 

Through all of this, I remember this from the bible:

Ecclesiastes 3

 

There is a time for everything,

and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

 

This verse helps me remember there is a time and a reason for everything under the sun. I know that everything that I go through has a reason, good or bad.  I may not learn the lesson from it right away but it may pop up later in life on why I went through it.  So with this in mind I move forward into a place of goodness. 

 

There is a time for everything! <3

 

365 Days of Thanks...Day 39

Day 39: I am thankful for a sleeping mask. 

My love left me this morning and I had a little bit of a headache.  Thankfully, it wasn't migraine worthy but enough that light was bothering me.  I have four (yes four) sleeping masks in my bedside table and grabbed one and slept in a bit more.  It was nice to sleep in a bit but I would gladly trade them in for an awesome job!

A whole new year

I originally wrote this on the plane ride back from Wisconsin on January 2nd. 

Flying always makes me nervous.  I have never been one who has been happy to fly.  I don’t know if it is my fear of heights or the hoopla that we now have to go through to get on the plane but I am not a fan.  I usually have to have a glass of wine or some other form of alcohol to get through it.  This flight is a bit different. 

My love and I just spent six days in my home state with my family.  My parents let us crash at their home for a bit to spend some time with the family.  It was a hard trip since my family seems to get smaller all the time.  My grandfather, one of the men who fought in World War II, turned 92 last month.  He has been in and out of the hospital over 2012.  It was hard to see him get weaker and weaker over the year and it breaks my heart.  It was a hard trip home because I hate to say it, I fear it was the last time I would see him.  I don’t like to think like that but nobody lives forever.   It was good to see him and I am hoping we can see him again. 

2012 was a hard year and I was happy to say goodbye to it with my family. The year brought lots of ups and downs and what feels like more downs then ups.  Throughout events of 2012, I have realized those who truly love me, those who are there for me, and those that are so selfish that they only look out for themselves.  I have said goodbye to those who are selfish, to those who hurt me, to those who did me wrong.  I have embraced more those who love me and support me through everything and hold on to them tight, both physically and emotionally.  I am taking these people with me to 2013 and in hopes that it will be an amazing year.  I have decided to make some changes to the New Year and make sure I remember those who are there for me.

So looking ahead, I plan to make some changes and improve so many things in 2013

    My love

December 31^st, 2009 was the first night that I met him.  It was an amazing night and I knew he was going to special to me.  We have had some great amazing days but also some bad times but through it all we have stood by each other through it all.  I hope in 2013 our love gets stronger and our adventure becomes something that neither of us could ever imagine.

 

 

 

 

  My family

I have very close relationships with most members of my family.  My parents and my brother are three people that I don’t know what I would ever do without.  I have called them all crying and pissed off and in various other moods and they have always been there for me.  We are states apart but when we talk, it is like they are in the room with me.   Unfortunately, in 2012, I was only able to make it home once and I wish I could do it more. They come see me often but there is nothing like coming home to family.  They will always be there for me and I will always be there for them. 

Be daring in my career

Some not so nice things happened in 2012 in terms of my career.  I was treated badly and worse than I thought another human being could hurt another.  I am working on moving past that.  I have forgiven those who have hurt me and ask for the patience for the next step.  Until that next step, I want to do something daring.  I am working on a novel that I hope to get published.  I am painting and drawing again.  Perhaps I will start a custom card company.  Who knows!  I just don’t want to be afraid to take a chance. 

 

 

 

  Finally say goodbye to those extra pounds

I have always been a muscular girl.  I was an athlete in high school and could bench press a small human but as I have gotten older, I have been troubled with losing weight and keeping it off.  This year, I am going to make sure I lose it all and get in the best shape I can.  I am hoping to have a family one day and I want to make sure that nothing goes wrong.

       Just be me

I lost a lot of who I was in my former job.  It took quite some time but I was able find me again.  I vowed never to lose sight of myself again.  I don’t want to compromise myself for a job, a man or anyone else in my life.  God put me on this earth to be me and to love the me I am.  I am going to stick clear to that and learn to love me for me and kick those out of my life who try to change me.

  Be amazing

2013 is going to be an amazing year.  I have vowed to make this year have a different outcome then last year.  I want to do something amazing, be something amazing and just plain be amazing. J

365 Days of Thanks...Day 38

Day 38: I am thankful for my family.

My love and I just spent six days back in Wisconsin with my family.  I am always excited to see them and it is so hard to come back to Colorado.  I have a very small family and I make sure that I see as many of them as I can while I am home.  They are my greatest support and I don't know what I would do without them. 

365 Days of Thanks..Day 37

Day 37: I am thankful for the birth of the Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Every Christmas, I think back on that first Christmas in Bethlehem when our Lord and Savior was born.  I imagine what it was like and the sounds of the angels singing and those who came from afar to see the newborn King.  It is probably far beyond anything I could ever imagine, but knowing I have life after death because God sent His son is the most amazing gift I could receive. 

Thank you Lord for your love!!

Dreams...

I have been doing a lot of thinking about dreams lately.  Not only the dreams we have while we are asleep but those we strive for in life.  We are given this life, this one and only life to make it amazing and to try and make a difference in the world. 

My dreams have been wonky lately.  Yes, I did just use the word wonky.  I love that word.  When the weather is nice, I take my bike out on the trails around here.  So one morening when I woke up, I was not surprised I had a dream about biking on the trails.  I was taking my bike out.  I usually go about 8-10 miles each trip.  Towards the middle of my ride, the clouds started to close in.  I started to bike home as fast as I could.  As I continued, lighting started to strike.  I made it home but was barely missed by the lightning.  When I woke up the next morning, I looked up the significance of lightning in dreams.  It stated that changes would be coming and happiness on the way.  I took that as a good sign but still waiting for some of those changes. 

I had another dream where I was in a swimsuit going down a blue waterslide that was about a mile long.  Along the way, a kid would put obstacles in my path and I had to stop and move them.  I moved them and then continued on my way.  I woke up before I got to the end of the slide so I don't know how long it actually was.  I was curious about what this meant so I went to my friends on facebook.  My friend posted this: "It means that it feels like you're in an unstable period filled with change (and growth!) and that you feel like it's long and never-ending (which is why it's a mile long). But you choose to see it positively and make the most of it, since you see it as a water slide and not a rapid river that's hurting or drowning you." I found this explanation very helpful and makes me feel better about the dream.  I also found out that Water tends to be about purification, change, renewal and new life. Perhaps this is a good dream and the future will continue to be optimistic. 


With these dreams, it has made me think about my own dreams in life.  It makes me realize what I want in life.  In life, more and more I realize I want a family.  I am looking forward to one day saying vows to my future husband and starting our lives together.  With that life, I hope to bring some amazing children along with it.  As far as my career, I don't know where it is headed at the moment.  It is scary and exciting all at the same time.  I am a planner and it is hard not knowing what the future holds.  Ask anyone who knows me, I struggle with this.  I am optimistic that something will come through and things will be better.  Until then, I am working on another dream: my novel.  I have always dreamed to see my name in print on a book.  I have been in newspapers, poetry books and other blogs on the web but to see my name on a novel, it would be amazing.  It is a possiblity that I hope will come true one day.

Until these dreams come true, I will continue to dream.  It keeps me going and the fact that I can is amazing to me.  I don't know what the future holds but I hope that my dreams come true and how they are meant to.  I just have to remember to go forward with love. 

365 Days of Thanks...Day 36

Day 36: I am thankful for the sunshine. 

Back home during the winter, days can be pretty dreary.  We wouldn't see the sun for days except when it was illuminating the sky above the dark clouds.  Here in Colorado, the sun shines almost everyday, even when there is snow on the ground.  The snow doesn't stick around like it does back home but it is beautiful when it snows and the sun shines off of it.